The past few days has been a little turbulent for me, not because I have had bad anxiety, but because I have had a motivational battle. I guess I’m a little ambitious about what I want to achieve, like anyone who does something they love to do. However, even though I have achieved a few things that I wanted, there are other goals that I have set myself.
If you read my other post on watching TED talks, you would know that I am trying to motivate myself to do more with my writing than I currently am. I spent a good couple of hours yesterday looking for sites that I might want to write for, but the same thing kept popping into my head. That either the application process was too long and arduous, or they were too particular and wouldn’t want my writing.
I know that this is my anxiety talking, that it is trying to undermine my ability to get things done, but even though I know this, it is difficult to silence. Also, it is extremely persuasive which can be the most annoying part. On the few occasions I have managed to overcome this voice, I have done things that I never thought I would. You would think that this would be enough to get me past this, but every time it resurfaces as strong as ever. That little anxious voice says that I have achieved what I wanted, I don’t need to go any further.
Although this battle is something you can’t really understand unless it happens to you, it is important to try and not let it win – well, not all the time.