Dad, Can You Help Me Please? – A Worst Nightmare

It is a question that every father hears at some time in their lives. The desperate call of their child asking for help with complete confidence in their father’s ability to deal with whatever it may be. So, this is the question that echoed up from downstairs as I was on the computer. The rest of the conversation went like this.

Me: What’s the matter?

Daughter: I’ve dropped my dolls arm down the toilet!

Me: Oh dear

Daughter: I don’t know what to do?

Me: Just flush it

Daughter: I can’t do that, it’s plastic it will end up in the sea!

Me: No, it won’t, just flush it

Daughter: Can you get it out for me?

Me: Can’t you reach it?

Daughter: Yeah but there’s poo in there I don’t want to touch it!

Me: What!? Well I don’t want to touch it!

Daughter: But it’s my favourite dolls arm (sob)

Me: How can you have a favourite dolls arm!?

Daughter: Please?

Me: (sigh) Ok then……is there much poo?

Daughter: No, just a little

She lied! The was a large poo staring up at me when I looked in the bowl. And close beside it was the small arm of a doll. In a moment of genius, I thought that I would use the long tweezers that we used for the fish tank. However, the tweezers were not as long as I had remembered, I still came perilously close to the yellow water with my fingers (yes there was pee too). I managed to grab it with the very end of the tweezers and lift it into the sink. I told my daughter to wash the arm while I tried to scrub the skin off my hand. Of all the dad help requests, this will haunt me forever.

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